Talk finances. Deal with anger. Talk about sex. Discuss roles. Get on the same page with your values, attitudes, and beliefs. Discussing these topics can be a challenge, even for seasoned lovers. But, with the help of an experienced premarital coach, like myself, it’s not soo difficult.
What is premarital coaching?
As a service offered to newly engaged couples, premarital coaching is a way to gain the tools and discuss how you view your partnership before committing to marriage.
In our sessions, you not only take the time to learn about your own beliefs, expectations, and personality, but you also learn how you mesh with your partner in many areas that may have yet to be deeply discussed. As a result, we set you up for a successful marriage in a comfortable environment all well before you put your best foot forward when you say “I do.”
Why should you go to premarital coaching?
Here are 10 reasons why you should consider attending premarital coaching sessions.
#1: Learn how to communicate with instant understanding.
So, your partner keeps asking “WHAT” after you’ve spoken. We’ve been there before, and though it’s annoying, a calm (non-frustrated) response is necessary. Do you have the skills to communicate appropriately?
Communication involves more than hearing (and speaking) efficiently. There’s the environment, context, encoding, and decoding of the intended message. In our sessions, you’ll learn how to better communicate to understand your partner (and vice versa).
With the support of a trained neutral party, couples build more compassionate understanding that will benefit them for years to come.
#2 Provide a safe place to discuss difficult topics
What topics make you uncomfortable to bring up to even your best friend? Tension is normal. But, confronting complex issues candidly before they become explosive not only avoids future conflict but sets your marriage upon a solid foundation.
Premarital coaching provides a space to discuss these topics and practice better tackling them as a team. The more honest and open you are during your sessions, the more you will get out of them. In addition, your coach will help you navigate areas of conflict with your partner.
#3 Improve intimacy.
Let’s face it! Talking about intimacy with a stranger sounds very uncomfortable, but it’s so necessary to do before getting married. With the many emotional benefits of intimacy and sex, it’s essential to be on the same page about expectations with your partner.
Intimacy or the closeness felt between a couple can be weakened by poor communication and conflict management skills. For example, if you think that your spouse can’t understand you or that conflicts lack resolution, your positive feelings of closeness can be in jeopardy. Through premarital coaching, you can learn the skills needed to reach your intimacy goals and deepen intimacy.
Sex in your marital relationship is also an important topic that may be left out from other conversions. Premarital coaching touches on this so you can cultivate an enduring passion for a lifetime of pleasure and fulfillment with your future spouse.
#4 Better understand yourself, which helps the relationships.
In the wise words of Toby Keith, “I want to talk about ME, ME, ME!” So there’s a time and place inside our sessions where you’ll be spending time learning more about yourself. Exploring your personality and wellbeing will help you discover new things about yourself both within the relationship and individually. While you’re exploring yourself, so will you partner! You’ll have the opportunity to hear each other’s responses in a setting designed for open-sharing, so take advantage.
Better understanding yourself leads to self-compassion. It is just as important to love and understand yourself as you do your partner for a more fulfilling and healthy marriage.
#5 Evaluate your preconceived ideas and expectations.
We all come into the marriage with specific beliefs and expectations, even if we are unaware of these propensities. Tension can arise from a mismatch of expectations. For example, your spouse may want to spend holidays with extended family, whereas you may find it normal only to spend holidays with your immediate family. It can also be something as simple as where you store ketchup or what direction the toilet paper end should face. No matter how small or trivial it may seem, it is advised that you take the time to hash out areas of mismatched expectations. As your coach, I’ll act as an objective third party who can help you uncover and navigate conflicting expectations.
#6 Master the skills of money management.
Your spending habits are unique to you. However, friction over finances is a common occurrence in marriages. Don’t let financial mistakes ruin your marriage. Discussing your and your partner’s financial skills, attitude, and history curtails unhealthy money conversations in the future—Master the skills of money management in our sessions. You’ll be discussing finances with ease in no time. This is a time that you can also set long-term goals with your future spouse regarding money—for example, saving for retirement or discussing home buying.
#7 Divorce prevention
No one that sincerely enters a marriage does so, thinking that it will end in divorce. However, divorce does occur to even the most earnest couples. Premarital coaching reduces the chances of divorce by 31%! Strengthening the relationship with your partner as you learn more about yourself and each other with the support of your coach and the SYMBIS system is vital to curbing the possibility of divorce. Learning to communicate and how to face conflict will surely come in handy when life’s difficulties arise.
#8 Learn how to reduce and resolve conflict.
Conflict is inevitable, even for loving couples. But like driving a car, conflict resolution and reduction is a learned skill. It takes practice and specific tools to do it well. Your premarital coach can help you discover the secret to reducing and resolving conflict with your spouse in terms of your unique relationship.
#9 Change your unhealthy tendencies.
Your relationship can only be as healthy as you are. With the new SYMBIS Assessment, you can identify your unhealthy tendencies and begin to rectify them with the support of your partner and your premarital coach.
#10: Plan for a better future – together.
Marriage is the beginning of a lifetime of choices that will shape your life. Do we want children? How soon? What are the finances going to look like? Who will pay for what? Coaching allows you and your partner to explore the big questions together. Instead of waiting for these big decisions to arise or take you by surprise, you can tackle them with the support and wisdom of your premarital coach.
Conclusion
Premarital coaching is a way to gain the tools and discuss how you view your partnership before committing to marriage and discover the importance of becoming “soul mates.” You will learn about your own beliefs, expectations, and personality to better mesh with your partner. With the SYMBIS system as a guide, I will provide you with wisdom and encouragement that goes beyond what can be gleaned from a book and includes the lived experience’s realities. You have so much joy to gain and only conflict to lose when you consider premarital coaching.
Are you interested in pre-marital coaching sessions? You can book a consultation here. Let this be your wedding gift to each other. Preparing for a strong and passionate marriage is one of the most important things that you’ll ever do!
